Strangled

I felt strangled,

Standing where you had once stood,

So many thoughts and questions.

How many times had your feet stepped there,

Tangling with the dirt underneath?

How many times 

Had you laughed there,

Cried there,

Kissed there?

As you studied underneath the art

You had brought back to life

And dreamed of what your future would be,

Did it look like this?

Did you clear your mind here,
Were you happy here?

How could I, I love you so much now

But not be able to know you then?

What was I listening to

As your laugh reached that open sky?

I want to reach that part of you that existed

Before you and me, collided,

Before I was strangled,

Trying to make you the best memories

Even though you weren't there,

And my heart was aching